1.6%

One year, actually 49 weeks, goes by very fast. I remember when I was younger, way younger, someone explaining to me (I think it was my mom) how time speeds up as we get older because each year is less and less of a percentage of our lives. Now that I think it had to be my mom as this is exactly the type of weird, in a good way, conversations we had in our family; a tidbit that has stayed with me each passing year. At 62, one year is only 1.6% of my entire life up to this point.   This last 1.6% has been so full, life-changing, hard and wonderful. My rich life here in Accra, this crazy and chaotic place, is coming to and end tonight when I step onto a plane to go back to the good ol’ USA. Home sweet home.

What will I miss? In many ways the things that I will miss here are also the same things that I will not miss. I will miss/not miss the taxis blaring their horns at me to see if I need a ride; the tro tros driving dangerously close to me spewing out their cloud of exhaust with the conductor, head stuck out the side door or window, yelling the route either “Circle, circle, circle” or “37, 37, 37”. I will miss the street vendors weaving their way in and out of the traffic selling everything – food, clothing, steering wheel covers, magazines, tissue – you name it they sell it. I will miss/not miss the relentless heat and the humidity. I will miss my young, beautiful, smart French tutor, Recheal, who was so patient and kind with me as I struggled to re-learn a language. I will miss many of the people I encounter on a daily basis.   The crew at our local coffee shop, specifically Manef and Priscilla, who always gave me big smiles and made me feel so welcome.   I will even miss the guards up the street at GIZ (a German NGO) who go out of their way to say hello to me and ask me how I am. Of course I will miss/not miss the 100s of Uber drivers I have come into contact with over this year — these men (and one woman) taught me so much about the good and the great and the bad and the ugly of Ghana.

What I will really miss most of all though is sitting at the local coffee shop or running or having dinner with my friends and feeling camaraderie with people from all different countries making the best of their time in Ghana by connecting with each other.   This has been the true blessing of my time here — to experience the human connection in such a beautiful and intense way and to make more new friends than I thought humanely possible at this stage of my life. RF1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and RFHs — these people held me up and helped me really enjoy my life here. I am so grateful for all the people I met in this 1.6% and hope to keep them in my life for years to come.

What will I take back with me? Physically I will take back very few things. I came with two suitcases and am leaving with the same. I did have to ship some large items that I purchased back to the US via DHL (exorbitantly expensive by the way).   I gave away half my clothes and filled my suitcase instead with some pottery, beads and fabrics beautifully hand-crafted here.  The more important question is what non-materialistic things I am taking back with me? I am taking back a stronger even more loving marriage for one. Having this experience with the hubster has strengthened our already strong and healthy marriage. We leaned on each other here. A lot. Having the constant familiarity with each other in a constantly unfamiliar place makes the uncomfortable more comfortable and tolerable for each other.   Without TV and other distractions of life back in California we spent a lot of time with each other (when we were both here) talking about everything but especially about our shared and unshared experiences in West Africa. The hubster traveled often to Côte d’Ivorie, Nigeria, Cameroon, and Burkina Faso and I loved to hear his stories about the companies he was working with and how things were different or similar in these countries to Ghana. Visa versa, he enjoyed hearing about my Mini Mermaids running program, my French lessons, what new places I discovered, my stories of getting around this crazy place and what my friends here were up to.

I am also hopefully bringing home a little different attitude and look at the world in general. I will be taking home a bit more patience and flexibility and a lot more appreciation for my life in California – especially the availability of safe and fresh food; clean air and water.   This 1.6% of my life was spent a lot less encumbered than the previous 98.4%. My time here was my own. I did things because I wanted to do them rather than having to do them. I never felt rushed or stressed about getting anywhere.  If it took 3 hours to grocery shop so be it. Getting a key made taking a whole day — que sera, sera. Hopefully I can carry some of that back with me. I will bring back a headful of good and some bad memories of people, sights, sounds and smells. Oh the smells — rotten fish and putrid smells abound here. Even our clothes started to have a certain “eau d’odor”.   I will be glad when those smells will be in memory only.

This year has been so rich in experience and memories that no matter how happy I am to be getting home to my house, my dog, my colleagues, my friends and family I am sad for this year to come to an end. I feel blessed that I was able to have this full experience in my 60s.   To get out of my comfort zone and be open to all that is happening around me was really what made the year feel so worthwhile. I think the hubster feels the same.

So what’s next? In Accra when you tell people you are leaving they ask where you are going to next. The assumption is that we are all living the constant ex-pat life, but that is not our journey.   I will return to my job at Stanford University, reconnect with my friends, family and colleagues, take a walk on the beach, run in the redwood forest and be happy that life is full, messy and beautiful wherever I am. Thank you Ghana for showing me a different way for this 1.6%.

Manef, me and Priscilla

Me and Recheal

My running group on my last day here in Accra