July 16, 2018
Last fall, the hubster, George, came to me asking what I thought about him applying for a volunteer gig with the Stanford Graduate School of Business in Ghana (West Africa). Okay, so at first, he actually wondered if he got the job if it was “okay with me” if he went whilst I stay in Aptos, work at Stanford, take care of the house, and live the life of a single woman. My answer was “Only if I can go with you!” A year in Africa? Sounds like a plan to me. So the short story is that George got the “job” and we are heading off to live in Accra, Ghana for a year starting in September.
We are less than 2 months from our ETD and there is a list of things to do before we go taped to a kitchen cabinet and there are a few things checked off – only a few. One of the things I have on my list was to go to the DMV to renew my driver’s license which expires while we are away. The new Real ID is available now (if you don’t know what that is I am sure you will in the next few years). This requires you to bring a lot of documentation with you including your passport, some proof of a SSN (I am pretty sure I haven’t had a SS card in about 30 years), utility bill to prove where you live, your first-born child, snacks for everyone at the DMV who literally take a break every half hour.
Being a responsible and optimistic person, I made an appointment for today at 9:20 AM. I arrived around 9 and there was a line about a quarter-mile long. Lucky for me that was the “No appointment” line. I walked in the appointment door and was pleased to see that there was NO LINE at the appointment desk. I am thinking “This is great. This is going to go smoothly. I will be in and out of here in no time.” After standing on the red carpet (is this supposed to make us feel special for having an appointment?) for 10 minutes the woman behind the desk who is ALSO checking in everyone without an appointment turns to me and asks if I have an appointment.
“Yes,” I answer.
“What time?” she asks.
“9:20”
“Our policy is not check you in for your appointment until 5 minutes before your appointment time.” (It is now 9:10)
“Um, okay.”
“Did you fill out the form for your renewal over there.” Nods her head towards a back wall of the DMV office.
“No”. I am wondering did I miss a sign or something. Immediately assume I have done something wrong.
“Well, go over there and fill out the form then write the confirmation number here and then come back here.”
“Okay.”
I walk over to the back wall in the direction of the big nod and look at all the forms and not one is for a DMV renewal. Then I see a bunch of computers in an alcove and a lot of frustrated looking people and one man in a blue DMV polo shirt running around trying to help people – this included measuring one customer to determine his height so he could enter it on the form which is ON THE COMPUTER. Unfortunately all the computers are taken. The woman sitting at the first computer is just doing that. Sitting. Not completing anything on the computer. I realize that she speaks Spanish and doesn’t know which button to click. She waits for the man in the blue DMV polo shirt to show her how to get the form in Spanish. The woman next to her has obviously had a stroke and is having difficulty using the mouse, man in blue DMV polo shirt to the rescue. It is now my appointment time and I am still waiting for a computer. Finally someone leaves. I step up thinking how hard can this be I am on a computer all day, I am tech-savvy, speak English as my first language, haven’t had a stroke, know how tall I am so won’t need the man in the blue DMV polo shirt. I zip through the form which asks name, date of birth, SSN, CDL #, height, weight, hair color (I debate between grey and blonde and decide on the latter), whether I am willing to donate my organs (yes) and whether I am a citizen and want to register to vote (I am already registered to vote). I press the submit button. ERROR. THERE IS SOMETHING INCOMPLETE ON YOUR FORM. What? I go back and recheck all my info, press submit again. Again the error message. Now I have to wave down the man in the blue DMV polo shirt. He is kind which of course surprises me. He tells me it is not my fault (I am liking him better). He then explains that basically all the computers need to be restarted as there is a glitch preventing any form from being able to be submitted. He redirects me to the computer next to me which he has already restarted. I start all over again and this time when I submit I get the coveted confirmation number and I yell, “It works!” A few people around me congratulate me including a guy whose form submitted but then he forgot to write down the confirmation number on his piece of paper so he had to start all over again. We all give him looks of sympathy.
Okay, so I return to the nodder but she has been replaced by another person. Again, I am pretty sure these people take breaks every half hour. She gives me my secret special DMV code that will in time allow me to talk to a person at a window. I sit and wait and watch for my number and about 5 minutes later this is what I see:
Yep, NO ONE at any of the windows. How is this possible and I love the “How are we Doing?” sign. Pretty sure the answer has never ever been positive. I text hubster to tell him how it is going and that no one is at the windows and he responds, “Maybe a team mtg on customer relations?” Ah such a card.
It is now 10:30 AM – I have been here over an hour and now finally my not so secret number is up on the board. I proceed to window 11. She takes all my documents, makes copies several times, seems confused as to where the actual passport number is located in my passport. Tells me I need an eye exam, photo and to take the test and then proceed to Window 15. Takes my thumb print. I pass the eye exam even though I am pretty sure I incorrectly stated at least 2 letters. I feel like the test is a trick since the P and F look the same when you are 61 and not wearing your glasses. Next I get my photo done and the photographer (Window 13 lady) tells me I look pretty in my picture. We’ll see. She sends me back to the computer area to take the test. I pray that there is not another glitch in the system. I pass the test (it only takes 5 minutes) and only get one wrong. The question is:
If you fail to pull over to law enforcement the penalty is
- $1000 (sounds good to me)
- Some idiotic answer
- Not more than one year in county jail
Correct answer is c. Hmmm. I am not sure who knows the correct answer to this unless you were planning to not pull over and thought “It is not more than one year in county jail so I am going to evade the police.”
I proceed to Window 15. Everyone in this line seems to be waiting for their behind-the-wheel test. Window 11 lady approaches me while I am in line and asks to see my passport again as she needs to make another copy – my suspicion about not knowing where the number is might be right. I wait in line. She finally comes back with my passport and I find out a few minutes later that I am in the wrong line. Supposed to be 14 rather than 15. Window 14 is marked “Corrections”. Apparently to others this is a logical place (although unknown to Window 11 lady) to go when you renew your license. I am now ready to start acting crazy since Window 11 told me to go to Window 15 and then comes and talks to me and takes my passport again while I’m in that line yet THIS IS THE WRONG LINE? How can this be?
A very kind man lets me in front of him in my new line – there are still three people ahead of me which by DMV standards is extremely short. He and I start chatting. He told me that he has been there since 6 AM. It is now 11. Finally, in what I hope is my final time with anyone at the DMV for at least 5 years she calls me forward. She takes my paper, hands it back to me, hands me my temporary license, has me sign it and I am done. Took maybe 45 seconds. Total time at the DMV – 2 hours. I am just guessing this is my training for the year to come in a country where nothing apparently runs on time. Going to be quite a year!
Aptos To Accra 